Over the weekend, many autism bloggers produced posts with the prompt "Autistic people should...". They did this because of the plethora of negative responses one sees if they were to search for that same partial phrase, so at it's core this was an exercise in positivity.
To find a list of many of these pieces, go to http://autisticpeopleshould.blogspot.com/.
I read through the pieces I could in between dealing with Jack's crazy GI reaction to his antibiotic, which left me less time this weekend than I would have liked. Some pieces I agreed with, others I did not, and others made me think, which is what all good writing should do.
At first, I had no intention on joining in with this exercise. It's not because I don't appreciate efforts in autism positivity - I do very much - but because I felt that as someone who does not identify as autistic, even though I might be not quite neurotypical, I have no right telling autistic people what they should do. I'm not part of the "in-crowd" of bloggers accepted by the advocacy community and I didn't want to step on anyone's toes. Honestly, the only people who can decide what autistic people should do are autistics themselves. Plain and simple.
Then I realized, it will never be plain and simple. So, I decided to amend my previous decision. If I could tell autistics what they should do, it would be this...
Autistic people should be themselves. They should be afforded the respect, dignity, and self-determination that we would afford anyone. Autistics should be cherished and loved and regarded with decency not because they are autistic, but because they are HUMAN...just like the rest of us.
---
There is one autistic that that I can make the "should" statements about more definitively, and that is my son. What gives me that right? Well, I'm his mother and he is my child. With that in mind, Jack should...
...be himself, in whatever capacity and definition that may mean. There is nothing more important than being genuine and who you are, regardless of what others may think.
...embrace who he is, in all of the uniqueness that makes him the wonderful person I am proud to call my son.
...be kind. There is nothing that will carry a person farther and touch more lives than a little dose of kindness.
...dream, and dream often. His limitations will only place obstacles in front him, but never barriers. Obstacles can be overcome.
...forge his own path. He should never feel that he has to take the road that the rest of us take. His life can - and should - be his own. The only person who can define his success is HIM. His path needn't look like anyone else's. In fact, I would love to see him take the road less traveled.
...ask for help when he needs it. It's a true measure of courage to admit that you cannot do something alone. Help will always be available for him - from his loving family and friends - if he needs it.
...find his safe spaces, but he should also have the courage do step outside of that comfort zone. There is much he can teach the world, and much love he has to give. Again, help will always be there for him if he needs help with this.
...never give up on love and friendship. Even at times when he may feel that friendship and love might be too overwhelming, might not be the effort, or that he might never find someone who truly understands him, he should keep his eyes open and know that the world is full of kindred spirits in spite of the ones who might make him think otherwise.
...know that he is loved by so many. There will be times - no doubt - when we will not see eye-to-eye. There will be times when he believes that I can't understand him, just as all children are wont to do with their parents. In spite of all of this, Jack should know that I love him with all of my heart and that every decision I have made for him in his youth was made with his best interests at heart and with an abundance of love for him.
---
It's not for me to say what autistic people should do, but that is just a sampling of what the most important autistic person in the world - to me, at least - should do. He should be the wonderful person he is, and he should know that there is someone - his mother - who loves him very, very much.
To find a list of many of these pieces, go to http://autisticpeopleshould.blogspot.com/.
I read through the pieces I could in between dealing with Jack's crazy GI reaction to his antibiotic, which left me less time this weekend than I would have liked. Some pieces I agreed with, others I did not, and others made me think, which is what all good writing should do.
At first, I had no intention on joining in with this exercise. It's not because I don't appreciate efforts in autism positivity - I do very much - but because I felt that as someone who does not identify as autistic, even though I might be not quite neurotypical, I have no right telling autistic people what they should do. I'm not part of the "in-crowd" of bloggers accepted by the advocacy community and I didn't want to step on anyone's toes. Honestly, the only people who can decide what autistic people should do are autistics themselves. Plain and simple.
Then I realized, it will never be plain and simple. So, I decided to amend my previous decision. If I could tell autistics what they should do, it would be this...
Autistic people should be themselves. They should be afforded the respect, dignity, and self-determination that we would afford anyone. Autistics should be cherished and loved and regarded with decency not because they are autistic, but because they are HUMAN...just like the rest of us.
---
There is one autistic that that I can make the "should" statements about more definitively, and that is my son. What gives me that right? Well, I'm his mother and he is my child. With that in mind, Jack should...
...be himself, in whatever capacity and definition that may mean. There is nothing more important than being genuine and who you are, regardless of what others may think.
...embrace who he is, in all of the uniqueness that makes him the wonderful person I am proud to call my son.
...be kind. There is nothing that will carry a person farther and touch more lives than a little dose of kindness.
...dream, and dream often. His limitations will only place obstacles in front him, but never barriers. Obstacles can be overcome.
...forge his own path. He should never feel that he has to take the road that the rest of us take. His life can - and should - be his own. The only person who can define his success is HIM. His path needn't look like anyone else's. In fact, I would love to see him take the road less traveled.
...ask for help when he needs it. It's a true measure of courage to admit that you cannot do something alone. Help will always be available for him - from his loving family and friends - if he needs it.
...find his safe spaces, but he should also have the courage do step outside of that comfort zone. There is much he can teach the world, and much love he has to give. Again, help will always be there for him if he needs help with this.
...never give up on love and friendship. Even at times when he may feel that friendship and love might be too overwhelming, might not be the effort, or that he might never find someone who truly understands him, he should keep his eyes open and know that the world is full of kindred spirits in spite of the ones who might make him think otherwise.
...know that he is loved by so many. There will be times - no doubt - when we will not see eye-to-eye. There will be times when he believes that I can't understand him, just as all children are wont to do with their parents. In spite of all of this, Jack should know that I love him with all of my heart and that every decision I have made for him in his youth was made with his best interests at heart and with an abundance of love for him.
---
It's not for me to say what autistic people should do, but that is just a sampling of what the most important autistic person in the world - to me, at least - should do. He should be the wonderful person he is, and he should know that there is someone - his mother - who loves him very, very much.