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| Image Source: Autism Speaks |
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Those of you who are Facebook fans of mine (and if you're not, you should be!) might have seen my earlier post about elopement. I had gone to Jack's school to pick him up for therapy. He had been doing what he's been doing most days lately, pushing a toy lawnmower back and forth along the sidewalk. There is a red line - normally used to keep children held back from the carpool lanes - that he follows. Back and forth. Over and over again.
Lately, Jack has been very distractible. It's been difficult to break him of some of these patterns and perseverations, even more difficult than usual. He spaces out more and stares at everything but the ground and the world in front of him.
Today, Jack was pushing his lawnmower and he walked right off the curb and into the street. I was close by, so I yelled "No Jack!" and ran up to pull him back on to the sidewalk. I hoped that was the end of it.
It wasn't. He did it again. Then, he began to wander away towards the side of the building away from his classroom. Again, I stopped him. He went back to his usual back and forth pattern, so I relaxed for a minute as his teacher began discussing social stories with me and whether or not we found them successful.
That's when I heard the para-pro scream after him. "JACK! STOP!" I looked up and Jack was halfway towards the front parking lot of our school. The para had already begun to sprint after him, and I joined the pursuit. He wasn't responding to our calls. It wasn't that he was trying to ignore us or that he was running away, he was simply walking off. He was in his own world. He wasn't noticing how far away he was, where he was going, or that anyone was calling him back.
Luckily, my boy is a very, very slow walker, because we were able to catch him. We acted impervious to what had just occurred as we turned him around and directed him back towards the class. I, on the other hand, was shaking.
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Why is it that our kids elope? Other people might read this and wonder, How is it that a child can get away from 3 supervising adults?
The first question really answers the second. Some children do "bolt", engaging in a fight-or-flight response to a situation that is overwhelming, scary, or challenging. Jack has bolted once or twice, but what is most common with Jack is that he will simply wander off. It's not intentional. He's not running from anyone or anything. He just walks away.
I'd argue that Jack's wandering is the result of two key challenges he faces - his social delays and his sensory challenges. Jack has no internal filter for what we typically consider to be dangerous, like walking in the street or walking away from caregivers. He doesn't feel that same drive that the rest of us would to stay near his peers, his parents, or his teachers. His preference for solitary play tends to drive him away from others.
Jack's sensory challenges lead to extreme distractibility. He cannot help but look at anything and everything - except the road in front of him - when he is outside. Usually, when I walk with him, he is looking up at the sky, or the trees, or something else that catches his eye. He's not looking forward. He's not looking to see where his Mommy is at the moment.
So you see...it's easy to see how Jack could just start walking and not really stop. Given his communication challenges and the fact that he stays pretty quiet - except when he's stimming - you could then see how easy it might be for a child like Jack to simply wander away right under the watchful eye of several adults.
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He's done it before, but perhaps a healthy dose of fear and worry is enough to raise the vigilance of this Mama and his team. In a way, it just makes me feel certain that I can never let my guard down. We do what we can. We got one of those Big Red Safety Boxes from the National Autism Association a year ago. Jack wears an ID tag on his shoes that lists his name, our phone numbers, and his diagnosis.
I'm not sure that there is much more we can do. Vigilance is key. Educating others is important. Putting safeguards upon safeguards upon safeguards is critical, but any autism parent will tell you that keeping our kids safe is just not as easy as locking our doors and keeping an eye on them.
It was a situation that turned out well in the end, but served as a reminder that Jack is capable of simply wandering away. I can't let my guard down. I have to be careful and I have to remind everyone - even to the point of sounding paranoid - that they cannot let their guard down, either.