I remember walking the hallways, huddling inside my slightly dingy lab coat that had seen several years of wear and tear. I worked in all areas of my company, including those that processed transplant tissues. These operational areas ran 24-hours a day, 7-days a week, 365-days a year. They were always ready to accept someone's gift of life.
In the back of my mind, I knew that the hearts and valves and tissues that I saw being processed in our clean rooms were a person. They were people who - not even a couple of days prior - would have been living and breathing and very much alive. Yet, working there day in and day out, it was easy to forget the humanity in those gifts. It was easy to forget that behind each transplant tissue that there was a family feeling immense pain, grief, and loss.
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I remember doing my exit interview when I left my job to care for Jack. I had a million things on my mind and a million questions were asked. What could be improved? What policies would you like changed? What would have made you stay?
Honestly, I was half-heartedly processing each question. You see, the only thing that would have made me stay was to have a child who didn't struggle with feeding - to have a child who wasn't throwing up entire meals multiple times a day while I was at work. I was thinking about what I had yet to do. I needed to haul almost 6 years worth of clutter out of my cubicle and to my car. I needed to go get my exit blood work taken at the urgent care center. Those tasks were standing in between me and picking my precious 3-month old son up and taking him home.
There was one question that piqued my interest...What did you enjoy about working here?
That was an easy answer to give. It was the knowledge that - in some very small way - I contributed to an effort that saved the lives of children. I helped an operation run that provided that gift of life to a family where they would have otherwise had none. I helped provide hope.
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Sweet Gavin - son of Chasing Rainbows's Kate - passed away last night. Ever since Friday when Gavin's family decided to donate Gavin's organs and give another family that precious gift, the special needs world has kept vigil with the Chasing Rainbows family, waiting for Gavin to be set free.
With the knowledge of Gavin's impeding passing, his family showed unimaginable grace and courage as they made the decision to give other families the gift of life. Their strength in sharing so much love in a time of unbelievable sorrow brought me back to those corridors at my old workplace. The hospital-like sterility and coldness that permeated those hallways was noticeable, but so often I did not think about the sorrow that led to that particular moment in time. I was doing my job - calibrating or validating a piece of equipment - while the process of readying a tissue for transplant was occurring all around me. I never let that in. I never thought of the families behind each of those gifts. Perhaps that was for the best. Perhaps I wouldn't have been able to handle it day in and day out otherwise.
Either way, I was a small part of the end-of-life process for an individual. A person. A human being. That - in and of itself - is an honor. To be invited to be a part of someone's final wish or a family's last request for their loved one. To be a part of the consolation that family will feel in knowing that the loss of their loved one helped another have a chance at life. Those families and individuals had to suffer a loss so that another might live. What an amazing gift. What an awe-inspiring decision to make.
In those hallways, I so often thought of life - of the possibilities - that existed within our facility, but the flip-side of that life was loss. In some ways, I wish I could go back and answer that question once more...What did you enjoy about working here?
My answer might include this...
The knowledge that I was a part of something that helped a family find solace in their grief as they knew that their loved one's passing helped to give life to another.
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I have been an organ donor for as long as I could make that choice for myself. Many people who choose to not be an organ donor do so because they are not armed with all of the facts regarding the realities of organ donation. Consider being an organ donor. Go to Donate Life America to learn more about the facts and process of organ donation and to register as an organ donor. Be sure to specify on your driver's license at your next renewal that you are an organ donor.
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Gavin's mom Kate posted this on her Chasing Rainbows Facebook page, and I would like to share it here and challenge all of you to take her up on this beautiful way to honor Gavin's memory. I say it so often, but it's the little snippets of action that change the world...
"I've come up with a special, totally FREE way to honor my sweet son who could inspire the most profound emotion without ever saying a word. I'm asking you to help someone... document it with words and or a photo... and place it on the Chasing Rainbows Facebook Page. Then be sure to check the page often to get inspired by the outpouring of love. Here are some great ideas for you... Find a special needs classroom in your community. These are usually low funded and always looking for donations. Perhaps you have toys your kids don't play with anymore that could be used in the classroom or during therapy. Random crayons that are laying around. I know we always needed rug gripper to place under Gavin's behind when he sat - that's a good need. Do you know a special needs Mom in your neighborhood? Church? School? Tell her you'd like to make dinner for her family. What night would work? Then tell her the only requirement is they have to give a "cheers toast" to Gavin during dinner. Help someone struggling to unload groceries into their car in the rain. Donate clothes to a women's shelter. Check with your local children's hospital for volunteer opportunities - even if it's just for two hours of your life. Save all of your magazines and bring a big stash to your local hospital. You have no idea how helpful that is to parents who spend days, weeks or months (as I did when Gavin was a baby) sitting in their child's hospital room. These are just some ideas... be creative! And think of Gavin when you do it. Share his story with the person you are blessing. Tell them that Gavin Leong changed the world with little acts of courage, determination and a sweet smile... without ever saying a word. And then ask them to pay it forward to honor his legacy. This would be the best birthday gift you could give me. There is no time frame - you could post something today or a year from now or five years from now. Thank you for helping me to honor my amazing little boy. And feel free to share this anywhere you want!
xoxo, kate.
Chasing Rainbows"